That's right, I've bought a one way ticket to Grumpsville, and I'm bloody well staying there. Why? I'll tell you bloody why.
So, last night I decided that today I would run home from work. My training has dropped off significantly in recent months due to holidays, Christmas and illness, so I need to get back on it. I managed a couple of runs last week but they need to become more regular.
Inspired by Zooby running home, Vicks running the world, and Dave making himself sick through physical training, this was my chance to get back on the wagon - yet I failed...miserably.
How did I achieve this you may muse, well, through a combination of incompetancy and crap technology that's how.
My bag was packed and my stretches done and as I left my office on the North End Road I had hopes of getting home by 7:45pm, 5.5 miles in 45 minutes was not beyond me I thought, and yet I ended up boarding a train at Parsons Green at 7:50pm.
Those of you who know this part of London will know that Parsons Green is not particularly far from my work. I got lost.
After about 15 minutes of running I realised I had missed the turning for Wandsworth Bridge Road and was heading full steam down the New Kings Road. The reason for this is that the mapping system on my I-Phone was telling lies.
At this point I had my first sense of humour failure, but figured I could get round the problem and, rather than turning back, tried to work my way through the back streets to join up with where I needed to be.
Now, there's a reason I have not run home before, I have the worst sense of direction in the world. After another 15 minutes or so my sense of humour collapsed altogether and I tried to re-trace my steps to Parsons Green, which took about another 15 minutes.
I have now decided to stick to the Trim Trail, Richmond Park and the treadmill, as even I can't get lost when running on the spot.